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'Baker'3 Coition' 
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AKING A SISTER 



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COPYRIGHT, 1689. BY WALTER H. BAKER & CO 






THE AHAZONS ^^*^® ^ Three Acts. Seven males, Ave lemaies. 
Costumes, modem ; scenery, not difficult. Plays 
a full eveningo 

THE CABINET MINISTER ^arcein Four Acts. Tenmaiesnine 
females. Costumes, modem society s 
Bcenei y, three interiorSo Plays a full evening. 

DANDT DICK ^^^^'^ *° Three Acts. Seven males, four temaios. 
Costumes, modem ; scenery, two interiors. "Playr 
two hours and a halt 

THE fiAY LORD ODEX C^^^^^y^^^oi^-^cts. Four males ten 
^ females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, 

two interiors and an exterior. Plays a full evening, 

HIS HOUSE IN ORDER ^<^™®<ly^^<>^^ctSo Nine males, fo^Tir 
females. Costumes, modern ; scenerv^ 
three in te n o ra Plays a full evening. 

THE BODSY HORSE ^°™®*^y ^ Three Acts. Ten males, five 
females. Costumes, modern; scenery easy. 
Plays t^i uours and a halt 

IDIC I '^ama in Five Acts. Seven males, seven females. Costumes j 
luodem ; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

LADT BOUNTIFUL ^^^ ^ ^^^ '^*'**' -^^^^^ males, seven fe- 
males. Costumes, modern ; scenery, four in- 
teriors, not easy Plays a full evening. 

LETTY ^'^*™* ^ Fova Acts and an Epilogue. Ten males, fiye f e- 
^ males. Costumes, modem ; scenery complicated. Plays a 

full evening. 



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Walttv ^. iBafeer & Company 

No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts 






Making a Sister 



A Mock Initiation for Ladies 



By 
EPES WINTHROP SARGENT 



BOSTON 

WALTER H. BAKER & CO. 

1910 



r'^. '/ n n '7 



Making a Sister 



y?/^ 



CHARACTERS 



Mrs. Spiration, the Candidate. 
Mrs. Innitt, Supreme Sister 
Mrs. Ittue, Assistant Supreme Sister 
Mrs. Metue, Supreme Leader 



Officers of the 



Order of 2Vie Sis- 
ters of Sympathy. 



Mrs. Wanta, Assistant Supreme Leader 

Mrs. Soran, Leader of the Goat 

Mrs. Tinnit, Keeper of the Goat 

Mrs. Askin ~\ ^^,,,^^^^ ^y ^/^^ Qrder of The Sisters of 

Miss Oneley V SvmMthv 

Miss Fragette ) y F'- y- 

Costumes : — According to fancy. 




Copyright, 1910, by Walter H, Baker & Co. 



(gCI.D 2IOCO 



Making a Sister 



SCENE. — A parlor. Parlor suit with extra camp chairs if 
necessary. Room arranged as though for a fneeting. Large 
chair, draped, at R.^for Supreme Sister. One at \..,for 
Assistant Supreme Sister. On either side of her are chairs 
for leaders. Gatekeepers on eitlier side of door, c. Secre- 
tary and tr easier er in upper corners, hi c, a small table, 
draped, on which are displayed the skull and cross bones. 
The skull is a tobacco far partly full. 

{At curtain, all oji except Mrs. Spiration. All are talkifig 
except Mrs. Innitt, who is in her place atR., and rap- 
ping for order. She uses a small tack hammer as a gave I. ^ 

Mrs. Inn. Come, girls, this will never do. The first thing 
you must learn is to come to order at the sound of the gavel. 

Mrs. Metue. Is that what it is? I thought you were just 
knocking — as usual. 

Mrs. Inn. I suppose you think that's funny ? 

Miss Oneley. Is that a gavel ? I thought gavels were like 
— like — {pause') like a stick stuck into a turnip. 

Mrs. Inn. So they are. I asked Mr. Innitt to loan me the 
one he uses in his lodge, but he said that if the United Sisters 
of Sympathy were anything like the restof the women's societies 
he knew of we'd break at least two at each meeting, and he 
wasn't taking any chances with a perfectly good gavel. 

Omnes. Brute — the mean thing, etc. 

Mrs. Ittue. Well, I don't think that a tack hammer looks 
dignified. A potato masher would be more like a real gavel. 

Mrs. Inn. I know it would. I asked the cook for ours, 
but she wouldn't let me take it. 

Mrs. M. Wouldn't let you take it ! I'd like to see a cook 
of mine tell me I couldn't have my own potato masher. 

Mrs, Inn. But Gwendolyn has been with us such a long 



4 MAKING A SISTER 

time. When servants stay with one family a long time they 
presume on the length of their service. 

Mrs. Tinnitt. You've had Gwendolyn two weeks, haven't 
you ? 

Mrs. Inn. (^proudly). Nearly three ! 

Mrs. T. My ! However do you manage it ? I never can 
keep a cook a week. 

Mrs. Inn. George pays the policeman five dollars a week 
to come and visit her every evening. 

Mrs. Wanta. I knew that there was something underhand 
going on when you could keep a girl three weeks. I think I'll 
try that. 

Mrs. Inn. You mustn't. There's only one pohceman in 
town, and we've got him. 

Mrs. Askin. It doesn't always work. I coaxed Henry to 
keep a horse so that we would have to keep a coachman. We 
figured that would help us keep a girl. 

Omnes. Did it work ? etc. 

Mrs. a. First rate — for a month. Then they got married 
and went to the city to live. They wanted to have a good 
school handy for the children. 

Mrs. Inn. Never mind the servant question, girls. The 
Sisters are more important. Remember this is the first real 
meeting, and the candidate is waiting outside. 

Mrs. M. I don't see what you want that Mrs. Spiration in 
the society for. She doesn't really belong to our set, though 
goodness knows that she would give her right hand to belong. 
She should not be encouraged. 

Mrs. Inn. But we had to have some one to practice on, 
didn't we? It never would do to initiate people in our own 
set and make all sorts of mistakes. As charter members we do 
not have to be initiated, but all who come in now must be re- 
ceived according to the ritual Mrs. Bolton gave me. 

Mrs. M. But Mrs. Spiration is so impossible. 

Mrs. Inn. I know it, but she will let us ^learly kill her in 
order to belong. We can practice on her until we get it right, 
and then we can bring her up on charges and expel her. 

Mrs. Soran. It doesn't seem quite fair to expel her after 
we've given her all that trouble. 

Mrs. a. It will serve her good and plenty right for pre- 
suming to ask to be admitted to the sisterhood. 

Mrs. Sor. But she didn't ask. We asked her if she didn't 
want to come in. That's the way I understand it. 



MAKING A SISTER 5 

Mrs. Inn. My dear, all's fair in love and secret societies. 

Mrs. Sor. I thought it was ''all's fair in love and war." 

Miss Fragette. It's the same thing. Secret societies are 
fighting all the time. You know what Sherman said war is. 
Bob says that's what women's secret societies are. Until we have 
our rights and can join the Masons and things like that, he's 
right. I don't see the use of fighting among ourselves when 
we can fight for the great cause of Woman's Rights. Let's 
make this a branch of the Woman's Rights league. 

Mrs. Inn. Look here, Susie Fragette, you can't do that 
here. You always want to make a Woman's Rights club of 
anything you join. You tried to make the Dorcas society a 
Votes for Women league, and you know what happened to that. 

Miss F. All except the funds. You were treasurer, and 
you know more about that. 

Mrs. Inn. What if I was? I accounted for every penny I 
spent. There was only two dollars left, and I lost that. 

Miss F. The afternoon of Mrs. Ittue's bridge party ! 

Mrs. Inn. It's no such thing. I lost it coming home, not 
when I was playing bridge. You want to make this a Woman's 
Rights club so you can be president. I saw through your game 
when you wanted to join, so there. 

Mrs. Itt. Ladies ! Ladies ! This will never do ! We 
never will get started at this rate. It's a shame to begin quar- 
reling before we even get organized. 

Miss F. That's what I say. If we must fight, fight the 
men ; fight for our rights and our votes. Fight for women, 
not with women. 

Miss O. I don't see why we should fight for women. 

Miss F. It would be a novelty for you. You've been fight- 
ing for a man for the last forty years, and you haven't won one 
yet. 

Miss O. You forget that you are in my house. I will not 
be insulted in my own house. 

Miss F. I'll go out on the sidewalk and say it there where 
every one can hear me, if you prefer. 

Mrs. Inn. Ladies ! Ladies ! Come to order. I must in- 
sist upon order. 

Miss O. But she said 

Mrs. Inn. Order ! 

Miss F. You're making more noise than we are. 
Mrs. Inn. I've a right to. I'm the Supreme Sister, and I 
insist on order even if I have to make a noise to get it. Miss 



6 MAKING A SISTER 

Oneley is going to serve tea after we get through, and if you 
get her angry she won't. You know what splendid cakes she 
bakes. Take your places. {All subside^ and Mrs. Inn. raps 
for order.') Now, sisters, we are ready for business. Sister 
Supreme Leader, bring in the candidate. 

Mrs. Sor. But she's not been balloted on yet. Candidates 
must be balloted for. 

Miss F. Sure they must. When you women get your 
rights you'll know more about such things. 

Mrs. Inn. But what's the use of balloting ? She has to 
be elected, doesn't she? She's the only one we can prac- 
tice on. 

Mrs. M. The constitution says the ballot must be spread. 

Mrs. T. Spread on what ? 

Mrs. a. You don't spread it on anything. You just 
spread it. 

Mrs. T. But you must have something to spread something 
on or you can't spread it. 

Mrs. Inn. Order. Spread the ballot, Sister Leader of the 
Goat. 

Mrs. Sor. How do I do it ? 

Mrs. Inn. You take a box and some white and blackballs. 
Pass them to every one. 

Mrs. Sor. Where are they ? 

Mrs. Inn. We must get a regular ballot-box. Miss One- 
ley, have you anything that will do? 

Miss O. We can use buttons this once. (Searches work' 
basket.') I can't find any black buttons. 

Mrs. Inn. That doesn't matter. We don't need any. 

Miss O. But it's more like a real society to have them. 
They all have black balls. 

Miss F. Not in Bob's lodge. When they're afraid a candi- 
date won't be elected, they take the black balls away so they 
can't be cast. 

Mrs. M. But we must have some black ones. 

Mrs. Inn. Next time we will have them. Sister Leader of 
the Goat, spread the ballot. That means bring it to me and 
then take it to Mrs. Ittue. We look at it, then you put it on 
the altar and the others vote. (Mrs. Sor. takes a cup from 
the table and holds the buttons hi her hand. She does as 
directed. All vote.) Now show it to Mrs. Ittue and then 
bring it to me. {She does so.) How stands the vote, Assist- 
ant Supreme Sister ? 



MAKING A SISTER 7 

Mrs. Itt. There were eight white buttons and one black 
one. 

Mrs. Inn. I didn't see a black one. Look again. 

(Mrs. Sor. takes cup to Mrs. Itt.) 

Mrs. Itt. There are eight white buttons and none black. 
I must have been mistaken. I was certain that I saw one. 

Mrs. M. Certainly you did. 1 put it in myself. 

Mrs. Sor. But I didn't have any black ones, so how could 
you put one in the cup ? 

Mrs. M. I pulled one off my shoe. I don't want Mrs. 
Spi ration to join. 

Mrs. Inn. But it won't be for long, and we've got to re- 
hearse before we can ask any of our set to join. We can't 
practice on people like Mrs. Bagard or Mrs. Gottit. I would 
feel terribly if Mrs. Saunders, for instance, was to join and we 
made a lot of mistakes. Here's your shoe button, Sadie. 
Now, Assistant Supreme Sister, how do you find the ballot? 

Mrs. Itt. All white buttons. 

Mrs. Inn. No ! No ! You must say ''All well," like it 
is in the book. 

Mrs. Itt. Very well. 

Mrs. Inn. No. All well. 

Mrs. Itt. I said very well I would say all well. Give 
me a chance. Ask me again. 

Mrs. Inn. How do you find the ballot, Assistant Supreme 
Sister ? 

Mrs. Itt. Now you're not talking like the book. You 
should say, *' Assistant Supreme Sister, how do you find the 
ballot?" not ''How do you find the ballot, Assistant Supreme 
Sister?" 

Mrs. Inn. It means the same thing, only it's turned around. 

Mrs. Itt. And all white buttons means the same thing as 
all well, only it's more correct. 

Mrs. Inn. Assistant Supreme Sister, how do you find the 
ballot ? 

Mrs. Itt. All well. 

Mrs. Inn. Then I declare the candidate elected. Sister 
Supreme Leader, prepare the candidate. 

Mrs. M. How do I do it ? 

Mrs. Inn. I told you how once, before the meeting. You 
blindfold her and try to get her scared of what's going to hap- 
pen to her. Hurry up. 



8 MAKING A SISTER 

Mrs. M. All right. Come on, Mrs. Wanta. 

Mrs. Inn. You must say, "Your order will be obeyed." 
Then you bow three times and back out of the door. 

Mrs. M. Your order shall be obeyed. Come on, Mrs. 
Wanta. 

Mrs. Inn. Say ''Assistant Leader, prepare to accompany 
me to invest the candidate with the dread ceremonies." 

Mrs. M. Assistant Leader, prepare to accompany me to 
invest the candidate with the dread ceremonies. 

Mrs. Inn. I forgot. You pust call her Sister Assistant 
Leader. 

Mrs. M. Have I got to say that again ? 

Mrs. Inn. Certainly. That's what we are rehearsing for, 
to be right. 

Mrs. M. Sister Assistant Leader, prepare to accompany me 
to invest the candidate in our dread ceremonies, and I hope 
I've got it right this time. \_Exetint Mrs. M. a?id Mrs. W. 

Mrs. Inn. I do hope it goes all right, girls. Mrs. Bolton 
made a copy of her ritual, and she doesn't write a very good 
hand. She used to be a school-teacher, and I suppose that's 
the reason she can't write. She's got the loveliest home. 
Brussells carpet even in the servant's room. Her husband 
makes a lot of money and she takes it all away from him. I 
never saw a happier wife. 

Mrs. a. Any woman could be happy that gets all her hus- 
band's money. Why, I asked for a dollar the other day and 
all I got was a quarter. 

Miss F. And women submit to such outrages without a 
struggle ! They will not heed the call to arms. 

Mrs. Sor. You poor dear. 

Mrs. a. I only asked for a bluff. I guess he knew where 
that five dollars went to that he missed from his bill fold. 

{Knock at c. door. Mrs. M. pokes head in.') 

Mrs. M. Are you all ready to give it to her ? 

Mrs. Inn. You should say, '' The candidate awaits your 
supreme pleasure, Supreme Sister." 

Mrs. M. The candidate awaits your supreme pleasure, 
Supreme Sister. 

Mrs. Inn. (readifig from ritual). Let her enter our august 
presence and stand humbly before the altar of sympathy. 

Mrs. M. Come on in, Mrs. Spiration, and get yours. 

Mrs. Inn. No. You repeat what I say to you. I say; 



MAKING A SISTER 9 

" Enter our august presence and stand humbly before the altar 
of sympathy," and you repeat. You see 1 tell you what to tell 
her, and you tell her what I tell you to tell her. 

Mrs. M. But she hears you tell me what you tell me to tell 
her. Why should I tell her what you tell me to tell her when 
she hears you tell me what to tell her ? 

Mrs. Inn. Because it's in the ritual that way. 

Mrs. M. Enter our august presence and stand humbly be- 
fore the altar of sympathy. Come on in and don't be all 
night about it. 

Mrs. Spir. (at door). I'm afraid. What are you going to 
do to me ? 

Mrs. M. Lots ! Come on in and find out. 

(Mrs. M. and Mrs. W. push and pull Mrs. Spir. to l. of 
altar.') 

Mrs. Inn. Poor, miserable candidate. Kiss the emblem of 
sympathy which rests upon the altar of mortality before you. 
Mrs. Spir. I'm afraid. What is it? 
Mrs. M. It's none of your business. 
Mrs. Inn. (impressively). It is a skull ! 
Mrs. Spir. I'm afraid. 
Mrg. M. Don't be afraid. It won't bite you. 

(Pushes head down.) 

Mrs. Spir. It smells of tobacco. 

Mrs. M. Sure. The poor man died of tobacco heart. He 
smoked himself to death, and I guess he's still smoking where 
he is now. Go ahead and kiss it. (Forces head down. Mrs. 
Spir. kisses skull and is about to straighten up when Mrs. M. 
checks her.) Wait a minute. (To Mrs. Inn.) Say, isn't 
this where the slap stick comes in ? 

Mrs. Inn. Yes. That's what the book says. Mrs. Askin, 
you promised to bring the slap stick. 

Mrs. a. Here it is. 

( Offers a piece of joist which she lets fall on floor* Mrs. 
Spir. jumps.) 

Mrs. Inn. That's not a slap stick, it's a club. Don't you 
know what a slap stick is ? It's two barrel staves nailed to- 



10 MAKING A SISTER 

gether. It makes a lot of noise but it doesn't hurt much. I 
wouldn't hit anybody with that — not even Mrs. Spiration. It 
will make her all black and blue. 

Mrs. a. I thought a slap stick was a stick to slap with, and 
that you wanted to give it to her good. • 

Mrs. Inn. But that will half kill her. 

Mrs. M. Never mind. We'll have a real slap stick for the 
next meeting. Use this on Spiration. She won't mind. 

Mrs. Spir. But I don't want to be black and blue. 

Mrs. M. You'll have to if you want to belong. Go ahead, 
Tinnit, you are the Keeper of the Goat. 

Mrs. Inn. The Sister Keeper of the Goat. 

Mrs. M. Oh, yes, the Keeper of the Sister Goat. I mean 
Sister Keeper of the Goat. Anyhow, hurry up and do it. I 
can't hold her all night. 

Mrs. T. I'm afraid I'll hurt her. 

Mrs. M. She won't mind. Now (/o Mrs. Spir.), keep 
still. 

Mrs. T. I'm afraid. 

Mrs. Spir. So am I. 

Mrs. M. Oh, be a sport. Now. 

Mrs. T. Ready? {Raises club.) 

Mrs. Spir. {yelling and breaking away). I won't ! I 
won't ! 

Mrs. M. How do you suppose we are going to initiate you 
if you want to play tag? You mustn't listen when we're not 
talking to you ; then you won't know what's coming. You 
don't know that's a club; you won't know until after we hit 
you. You'll know then. 

Mrs. Spir. But I do know. 

Mrs. Inn. But the book says you don't. 

Mrs. T. Let's just pretend to hit her. That's an awfully 
heavy stick to hit with. 

Mrs. M. Here, you hold her and I'll hit her. I'm not 
afraid. 

Mrs. Inn. I think we had better just pretend. We can 
really hit her when we have the next meeting. 

Mrs. Spir. I don't care if I never get it. 

Mrs. M. But I do. Give me that stick, Tinnit, and help 
hold her. 

Mrs. Spir. I never did anything to you. 

Mrs. M. But I'm going to do something to you. Give me 
the stick. 



MAKING A SISTER II 

Mrs. Inn. Just pretend you've been hit, Mrs. Spiration. 
Yell. 

Mrs. Spir. Ouch ! 

Mrs. M. Do better than that. {Pinches her arm. Mrs. 
Spir. yells.) That's more like it. 

Mrs. Inn. The candidate cries aloud in pain. Sisters, let 
us sympathize with the candidate. {All crowd about Mrs. 
Spir. and pet her.) Now that the candidate knows the sweet 
sympathy of our beautiful order, let her be taken before the 
Assistant Supreme Sister and be given the grip of friendship. 
Sister Supreme Leader, conduct the candidate to the Assistant 
Supreme Sister. 

Mrs. M. Come on to the Assistant Supreme Sister. 

Mrs. Inn. You must say, '' Approach the Assistant Supreme 
Sister and receive the warm grip of friendship." 

Mrs. M. Approach the Assistant Supreme Sister and re- 
ceive the warm grip of friendship. {To l.) Go ahead and 
give her what you've got for her. 

Mrs. Inn. Say, ''Invest the candidate with the warm grip 
of friendship," and give it to her good. 

Mrs. Itt. Hold these. {Presents electrodes.') 

Mrs. Spir. It's electricity, I know it is. 

Mrs. Itt. No, it isn't ; honest, it isn't. 

Mrs. Spir. I know it is. 

Mrs. M. You mustn't contradict the Assistant Supreme 
Sister. Go ahead and grab 'em. 

Mrs. Spir. But it is electricity. 

Mrs. M. Give me that stick, Soran. Is it electricity? 

Mrs. Spir. No ; but you know I can't stand electricity. 

Mrs. M. Didn't you just say this isn't electricity? 

Mrs. Spir. But it is electricity. 

Mrs. M. What ! 

Mrs. Spir. No, it isn't. 

Mrs. M. Then grab those handles. 

{Current on. Mrs. Spir. j/^/Zr.) 

Mrs. Spir. Stop. Please stop. Oh ! Oh ! Oh ! 

Mrs. Itt. Did you tell me five seconds or five minutes? 

Mrs. Spir. Seconds. Not minutes ! 

Mrs. M. She wasn't talking to you. 

Mrs. Inn. I can't make out. The writing is soJ^ad. 

Mrs. Itt. Let's see. 



12 MAKING A SISTER 

{AH leave Mrs. Spir. alone with current on, and gather 
about the book. ) 

Mrs. a. It looks like minutes to me. 

Mrs. T. That first letter looks like an S. 

Mrs. M. It's part of the M. 

Miss F. Make it five minutes, and then we can't be wrong. 

Mrs. Sor. Take a vote. 

Mrs. Inn. We can't vote. We must adhere to the ritual. 

Miss O. Let's vote. 

Mrs. M. Don't let's. 

Mrs. Inn. It would be well to vote. Take your seats. 
{Do7ie.') All in favor of five seconds say aye. 

Mrs. Spir. Aye ! 

Mrs. M. Only members can vote. You're not a member, 
so you can't vote. 

Mrs. Inn. All in favor of seconds say aye. (All vote aye 
except Mrs. M.) All in favor of minutes say aye. 

Mrs. M. Aye ! 

Mrs. Inn. The seconds have it. {Curre?itoff.) Assistant 
Supreme Sister, teach the candidate the second grip of friend- 
ship and sympathy. 

Mrs. Spir. Is this worse ? 

Mrs. M. This is easy. 

Mrs. Itt. Place your right hand on your left shoulder 
blade. 

Mrs. Spir. I can't. 

Mrs. M. Do what she tells you. Here. 

(Helps to place arm.') 
Mrs. Itt. Give me your left hand. 

(Places 07vn right hand on shoulder blade and shakes.) 

Mrs. Inn. Approach the Supreme Sister. 
Mrs. M. You heard what she said. Come along. 
Mrs. Spir. What's she got ? 
Mrs. M. She's got a stronger battery. 
Mrs. Spir. I won't do it. 
Mrs. M. You must. 

Mrs. Inn. It's not like that at all, Mrs. Spiration. 
, Mrs. M. It's worse. . ' 



MAKING A SISTER 



13 



Mrs. Spir. I won't go. I won't. 

(Mrs. M. and Mrs. W. push her over to r.) 

Mrs. M. Here she is. 

Mrs. Inn. Say "Supreme Sister, I present a candidate for 
initiation who must be obligated." 

Mrs. M. I present a candidate for initiation, who must be 
obligated. 

Mrs. Inn. Lead her to the altar and place her in a proper 
position. 

Mrs. Spir. It's that stick again. I know it is. 

Mrs. M. It's nothing of the sort. Come along. Push her, 
Wanta. 

Mrs. Spir. {at altar). I'm afraid. 

Mrs. M. Sure. You must be or it isn't any fun for us. 
Kneel down. All ready. 

Mrs. Inn. Say — ''The candidate is properly placed." 

Mrs. M. The candidate is properly placed. 

Mrs. Inn.. Mrs. Soran, did you bring your little boy's goat? 

Mrs. Spir. Charlie Soran's goat ! I don't want to belong. 
Let me up. 

Mrs. M. I told you not to listen when we were not talking 
to you. 

Mrs. Spir. But I won't be butted. 

Mrs. M. That shows all you know about it. 

Mrs. Sor. I'm sorry, Mrs. Innitt, but Charlie cried so 
when I asked him that I hadn't the heart to take it. 

Miss F. You mean you didn't have the nerve to take it. 
You see, Mrs. Innitt, Charlie turned the goat loose and told 
her if she wanted it she would have to catch it herself. You 
know that goat ; we all do. 

Miss O. Of course. That's why we let her join, because 
it would save buying a goat. 

Mrs. a. And now we've got her, and we can't get her 
goat. 

Mrs. Inn. If there is no goat I think we had better adjourn 
the meeting and give Mrs. Spiration her initiation some other 
time. 

Mrs. Spir. And take that electricity all over again and 
have my arm put out of joint ! 

Mrs. M. You don't hear what we are saying when we are 
not talking to you. 

Mrs. Spir, I can't help it. 



14 MAKING A SISTER 

Mrs. M. But you must. 

Miss F. Can't we bump her with the sofa or the piano? 
It would be about the same thing. 

Mrs. M. Take the piano. 

Mrs. T. The sofa would be better. 

Miss O. The sofa is rather old. It was my grandfather's. 
I should be sorry to see it broken. 

Mrs. Inn. I told you girls what to get. I don't see why 
you didn't get them. You promised you would. 

Mrs. Sor. How could I know that Charlie would act so~? 

Mrs. a. I brought what I thought you wanted. Mrs. 
Spiration needs a big stick, she is so fat. 

Mrs. T. I brought my battery. 

Miss O. I didn't promise you could use my sofa. 

Mrs. M. Take any old thing. It won't matter. She 
won't belong long. 

Mrs. Spir. What's that ? 

Mrs. M. I said it won't be long — long, see? 

Mrs. Spir. I see. 

Mrs. M. How can you, when you're blindfolded ? 

Mrs. Inn. What shall we do, girls ? 

Miss O. I have an idea. 

(^Crosses to Mrs. Inn. All gather about her ^ leaving M.'RS. 
Spir. alone. There is much whispering and at the e?id 
Miss O. leaves the room. Mrs. Spir. has turned a7id is 
sitting on the floor.) 

Mrs. M. The idea ! You must remain kneeling. 

Mrs. Spir. But my knees hurt. 

Mrs. M. You'd rather kneel than sit down when the goat 
gets through with you. 

Mrs. Spir. Who went out ? 

Mrs. M. No one went out. 

Mrs. Spir. But I heard the door open and shut. 

Mrs. M. The candidate will not question the veracity of 
the Leader, or you can't join. You want to join, don't you? 

Mrs. Spir. Yes, but you didn't tell me there was going to 
be a real goat. 

Mrs. M. We don't have to tell you all we know. Of 
course, if you don't want to belong, why 

Mrs. Spir. But I do want to belong. I do, only I don't 
want to be butted. It hurls. 

Mrs. M. It will hurt the goat more than it will you. 



MAKING A SISTER I5 

Mrs. Spir. But a goat's head is large and — — 

(^All laugh.) 

Mrs. Inn. Order, sisters. 
Miss O. {ai door). I've got it. 
Mrs. Sor. Wait a moment. 

{She takes two umbrellas, with which she imitates the tread 
of a goat as Miss O. brings i?i a toy goat about six inches 
long.) 

Mrs. Inn. Sister Supreme Leader, place the candidate in 
position. 

Mrs. Spir. No ! No ! Please don't. 

Mrs. W. Well, if you don't want to belong 

Mrs. Spir. But I do, only I want to go to the theatre this 
evening and 

Mrs. W. You'll save money. You will only need to buy 
standing room instead of an orchestra seat. 

Mrs. Inn. Are you ready ? 

Mrs. A. Can't you put something over her skirt? That's 
her best dress, and she's going to the theatre this evening. 

Mrs. W. Take a table cover, it won't hurt it. 

Mrs. Spir. Can't you use a sofa pillow ? 

Mrs. M. This will do. 
" Mrs. Inn. Ready ? 

Mrs. Itt. Look ! He's eating the curtains. 

Mrs. M. Shoo him away. 

Mrs. Spir. You won't let him eat my dress, will you ? 

Mrs. M. He'll be too busy when he gets to you to think 
about eating. Don't worry. 

Mrs. Inn. Ready? 

Miss F. Let go \ 

Mrs. Spir. Wait, please wait a minute. We've got seats 
in the second row for to-night. I'd hate to have to give them 
up. 

Mrs. W. Don't worry about the seats — worry about the 
goat. 

Mrs. Inn. Ready now ? 

Mrs. Sor. Go! {Hoof effect.) 

Mrs. Spir. {jumping i/p). Don't, please don't. I won't 
be butted. 

Mrs. Inn. Mrs. Spiration, if you want to belong to this 
order I must insist that you do as we tell you. 



l6 MAKING A SISTER 

Mrs. Spir. Of course I want to belong. 

Mrs. Inn. Then assume your proper position at the altar 
and remain there until your Supreme Leader tells you you may 
move. 

(Mrs. Spir. kneels at altar. Business of fixing dress with 
table cover.) 

Mrs. M. Now let the goat come. {Hoof effect.) 

Mrs. Spir. No. 1 won't belong. 

Mrs. Inn. Sister Supreme Leadet, conduct the candidate 
out. Sister Keepers of the Gate, see that the candidate never 
again enters these portals. 

Mrs. Spir. {groaning). I suppose I've got to. {Kneels.) 
Go ahead then. (Miss F; blows up a paper bagy and as the 
goat is run across the floor and as it hits Mrs. Spir., she 
bursts it. Mrs. Spir. screams, tears off the bandage and sees 
goat.) Was that the goat ? 

Mrs. W. You're the goat. 

Mrs. Spir. And it's all a trick. I'm going home. I 
wanted to belong to your society because I thought it was a 
real lodge, but it's all a trick. I — I — {pausing) I hate you. 

\Exit, 

Mrs. Inn. She'll tell. 

Mrs. Itt. I don't care. If she does we'll start another 
lodge. Mrs. Carrington, the New York woman who visited 
me last summer, belongs to a perfectly stunning lodge. I'll 
get her to send me the ritual. She'll be able to afford to have 
it typewritten. 

Mrs. Inn. And you'll run it. I think you broke up the 
Sisters of Sympathy on purpose. 

Mrs. Itt. I did not. It's your fault because you didn't 
have a good ritual. I'll get a good one. 

Miss F. Make it for suffrage. I'll get you a lot of mem- 
bers. 

Mrs. Itt. That will elect you president. I know the way 
you work. 

(Miss F. crosses to Mrs. Itt.) 

Miss F. Hussy ! 
Mrs. Itt. Cat ! 

Mrs. Inn. I don't care what you do. I'm going to keep 
this society going, and if you think you can start another, 



MAKING A SISTER I7 

you're mistaken. You've both been watching your chance to 
steal this one from me, but you can't do it. 

Miss F. Who wants your old society ? 

Mrs. Inn. You do. 

Miss F. I don't. 

Mrs. Inn. You do. 

Miss F. {crossing to Mrs. Inn.). I'll — I'll pull your hair. 

Mrs. a. Don't you dare. 

I'd like to see you stop her. 

What do you want to mix in for ? Leave her 

I'm not afraid of you. 
Don't you lay a finger on her. 

Don't you meddle. 
I'm not afraid of you. 
You mustn't fight in my house. 

I'm not afraid of you. 

{During the cotiversation the others have beeii tailing sides 
among themselves, and now Miss F. shakes Mrs. Inn., 
who pulls Miss F.'s hair. The action precipitates aJigJit, 
in which all participate in a battle royal.^ 

{First curtain^ fighting cofitinues. Second curtain, the stage 
is all upset. The members are in all sorts of poses in- 
dicative of extreme exhaustion. Third curtain, all bow. 
Mrs. Spir. on.^ 



Mrs. 


W. 


Mrs. 


M. 


alone. 




Mrs. 


W. 


Mrs. 


T. 


Mrs. 


Itt. 


Mrs. 


T. 


Miss 0. 


Mrs. 


Itt. 



New Farces and Comedies 

HIGBEE OF HARVARD 
A Comedy Drama in Three Acts 

By Charles Townsend 
Five males, four females. Modern costumes ; scenes, two interiors and 
an exterior — the latter may be played as well in an interior, if preferred. 
Plays a full evening. A clever, up-to-date piece, well suited for amateur 
performance. No small parts ; all good. Giood plot, full of incident, no 
love-making, interest strong and sustained. 

FricCy J^ cents 

A REGIMENT OF TWO 
A Farcical Comedy in Three Acts 

By Afithony E, Wills 
Six males, four females. Modern costumes. Scene, an interior, the same 
for all three acts. Plays a full evening. A lively, up-to-date farce, easy to 
produce and full of laughs from beginning to end. All the parts good — 
no small ones. German comedy characters for both male and female, 
and " wild west " character part and English character comedy. Strongly 
recommended. 

Price y 2J cents 

THE MISSING MISS MILLER 
A Comedy in Three Acts 

By Harold A. Clarke 
Six males, five females. Scenery, two interiors ; costumes modern. 
Plays a full evening. A bright and up-to-date farce-comedy of the liveliest 
type. All the parts good ; full of opportunity for all hands. Easy to pro- 
duce and strongly recommended. Good tone ; might answer for schools, 
but is a sure hit for amateur theatricals. Professional sta^e rights reserved. 
Pricey 2^ cents 

MISS BUZBY'S BOARDERS 
A Comedy in Three Acts 

By Arthur Lewis Tubbs 
Five male, six female characters. Costumes modern ; scenery, two easy 
interiors. Plays two hours. In a lighter vein than this writer's other 
pieces, but just as strong, and offers plenty of comedy. All the parts good ; 
fomr call for strong acting. Several good character parts and efifective 
heavy character. Dialogue especially good. A sure hit. 
Price t 2S cents 



New Plays 



A GIRL IN A THOUSAND 

A COMEDY IN FOUR ACTS 

By Evelyn Gray Whiting 

Fourteen females. Costumes, modern ; scenes, three interiors and an ex. 
terior. Plays a full evening. Very strong and sympathetic and of varied 
interest. Irish comedy ; strong " witch " character ; two very lively " kids "; 
all tlie parts good. Effective, easy to produce, and can be "strongly recom- 
mended to young people as thoroughly wholesome in tone as well as amus- 
ing. 

Price, 25 cents 
CHARACTERS 

FOLKS AT THE COTTAGE 

Grais'NY Morris, an old-fashioned Syl,via., a little peacemaker. 

body, Charlotte, " Charlie." 

FiiORA, poor, but proud. Kathleen, '^ Kit." 

FOLKS AT THE HALL 

Helena Glendon, a delightful per- 'PHCE.BB'PR^STOi!!,tvho reads the HoiiSh 

son. Journal. 

Vivian Glendon, her adopted child. Nora, a believer in charms, with none 

Mrs. Preston, a housekeeper. of her own. 

Miss TuAhM'E'R, ivitch of the hollotv. Miss Prim, school-teacher somewhat 

]\IRS. Wentworth, a wealthy widow. like her name. 

Miss Guilford, her companion. 

SYNOPSIS 

ACT I. — Granny Morris' cottage. Seven wishes. One comes true. The 

Witch's prophecy. 

ACT II.— School-room at Miss Prim's. Some tahleaux. A cake-walk. A 
prophecy fulfilled. # 

ACT III.— Sitting room at tlie Hall. Granny forgets her skirt. The 
Witch again. A face at the window. 

ACT IV. — Witch Hollow. A picnic. Nora tries a charm. Unravelling of 
the skein, 

MOSE 

A COMEDY IN THREE ACTS 

By C. W. Miles 

Eleven males, ten females. Scenery, two interiors; costumes modern. Plays 
an hour and a half. A lively college farce, full of good local color and the 
true college spirit. Its cast is unusually large, but many of the parts are 
small and incidental. Introduces a good deal of singing, wliich will serve to 
lengthen the performance. Tlie inevitable foot-ball is an element of its story, 
b'lt its Htrongest dramatic interest does not depend upon tliis. Recommend- 
^ >-ighly for co-educational colleges. Professional stage-rights reserved. 



Price ^ 15 cents 



New Plays 



LUCIA'S LOVER 

A FARCE IN THREE ACTS 

By Bertha Currier Porter 
For Female Characters Only 



s an 



Eight females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, two interiors. Play., ..- 
hour and a lialf . A bright and graceful piece, light in character, hut sym- 
pathetic and amusing. Six contrasted types of girls at hoarding school are 
sho^yn in a novel story. Lots of fun, but very refined. Easy to produce and 
can be strongly recommended. 

Price, 25 cents 



CHARACTERS 

Polly Chandler, who loves cats. Lucia Lovering, a love-lorn lass. 

Mildred Chase. Miss McGregor, a teacher.^ 

KATHERINE STANTOK. MRS. GOLDTHWAITE, O IVulOW With 

Edith Lee, a Southern girl. an only son. 

Marcia Summers, a little older than Chauncey, an adopted ch%ld. 
the others. 

SYNOPSIS 

ACT I.— Polly's room at boarding school. Dressmaking. Chauncey, the 
cat. Lucia's love-letter. 

ACT II —The same. The countersign. Welsh Rarebits. A midnight 
feast. Lights out! The secret. Fortune-telling. A confession. 

ACT III —A reception room in the school. The day of judgment. A 
widow with an only son. Interrupted. A concealed jury. Brought to book. 
True friendship. Lucia's lover. 



THE THREE HATS 

A FARCICAL COMEDY IN THREE ACTS 

From the French, hy Arthur Shirley 

Five males four females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, one interior, 
the s<ime for Si three acts. Plays a full evening. A rapid, slap-dash farce, 
fSn of acLon and i^^^^^^^ Very laughable and can be recommended as 

a mirth-provoker. 

Price, 15 cents 



New Farces and Comedies 

GADSBY'S GIRLS 
A Farce in Three Acts 

By Bertha Currier Porter 
Five males, four females. Costumes modern ; scenery, an exterior and 
an interior. Plays an hour and a half. An exceptionally bright and 
vivacious little piece, full of action. The irrepressible Gadsby's adven- 
tures with the fiancees of three of his friends are full of mterest and fun. 
Ml the parts good. Well suited for High School performance. 
Price, 2^ cents 

CHARACTERS 

Richard Stanley, a lawyer, 

Joseph Parker, a clerk. 

Morris Young, a medical student. 

Steve, the farm boy. Frie?jdly, but not loquacious, 

Mabel FARKms, friz^olous and dressy ; engaged to Richard, 

Esther Carroll, botanical and birdy ; engaged to Joseph, 

Grace Chester, just girl; engaged to Morris. 

Mrs. Dodge, who takes boarders. 

Maximilian Hunnewell Gadsby, a butterjly, 

THE GIRL WHO PAID THE BILLS 

A Comedy In One Act 

By Nina Rhoades 
Two males, four females. Costumes modern ; scene, an easy interior. 
Plays thirty-five minutes. A clever piece of high class, admirably written 
and suited to the best taste. A pretty little love story, wholesome and un^ 
sentimental in tone. Well recommended. 

Fricey i^ cents 

THE FIFTH COMMANDMENT 

A Play in One Act 

By Willis Steell 
Three males, one female. Costumes modern ; scene, an interior. 
Plays twenty minutes. An easy piece of strong dramatic interest, origi- 
nally produced in Vaudeville by Julius Steger. Free to amateurs; royalty 
required for professional performance. 

Price f IS cents 



New Plays 



MR. EASYMAN'S NIECE 

A Farcical Comedy in Four Acts 

I 
B;j Belle Marshall Locke 

Six males, four females. Costumes modern ; scenery, two interiors and 
one easy exterior that may be played indoors if desired. Plays a full even^ 
ing. A clever and vivacious play, full of fun and action. Mr. Easyman'a 
fad of spiritualism leads him into a difficulty that is a source of endless 
amusement to the audience. Irish and old maid comedy parts. Can ba 
recommended. 

Price, 25 cents 

CHARACTERS 

Mr, Stephen Easyman, a wealthy Mr. Sharpe, a detective, 

broker. Miss Judith Carroll, a maiden 

Mr. Carew Carlton, /^/j nephew. au?it. 

Mr. Tom Ashleigh. Mrs. Easyman, | her 

Jackson, a servant. Miss Bessie Carroll, J nieces, 

Michael Flynn. Desdemona, the ghost, 

A PAIR OF BURGLARS 

By Byron P, Glenn 

Two males, two females. One act. Costumes modern ; scenery, an 
easy interior. Plays half an hour. A brisk little curtain raiser of the 
** vaudeville " type, moving all the time. Easy and effective ; all the part* 
young people and well-dressed. Strongly recommended. 

FricCf i^ cetits \ 



DANE'S DRESS-SUIT CASE 

By Robert C, V, Meyers 

Two males, one female. One act. Costumes modern ; scene, an easy 
interior. Plays fifteen minutes. An excellent short play to fill out a bill 
or to fill in an intermission. All action and lots of fun. All parts young 
and well-dressed. 

Price, IS cents 



New Plays 



THE SISTERHOOD OF BRIDGET 

A Farce in Three Acts 

By Robert Elwin Ford 

Seven males, six females. Costumes modern ; scenery, easy interiors. 
Plays two hours. An easy, effective and very humorous piece turning 
upon the always interesting servant-girl question. A very unusual num- 
ber of comedy parts; all the parts good. Easy to get up and well rec- 
ommended. 

Price ^ 2^ ce7its 

CHARACTERS 

Edward Mason, ^ wealthy stock- Mrs. Mason, socialist atid as* 

broker. thete. 

Lord Curton, in search of a Eleanor Mason, her daugh- 

wife with money, ter. 

Ward Leighton, lieutenant of Bridget, the cook, 

the lydth Regiment, Josie Riley, ) , . . 

MikeMcShane, driz/er of a milk' Emma Hone, j 

cart. Mary Macrae, Jimmfs sister, 

Jimmy Macrae, page at Mr. Timothy Rouke, house painter. 

Mason's, William, butler at Mr. Mason's, 

THE ALL-AMERICA ELEVEN 

By M, N. Beebe 

Tv^relve males. Costumes modern ; scenery unnecessary. Plays fifteen 
minutes. An up-to-date and popular entertainment for boys in one scene, 
sure to please both the boys and the audience. Characters : Football Boy, 
Baseball Boy, Tennis Boy, Office Boy, Messenger Boy, Country Boy, 
Chinese Boy, Jewish Boy, Irish Boy, Indian Boy, Negro Boy and Trainer. 
Price, i^ cents 

TAKING THE THIRD DEGREE 
IN THE GRANGE 

By A. C. Daniels 

Seventeen males. Costumes eccentric ; scenery unnecessary. Plays ten 
minutes. A burlesque initiation in one act, especially adapted for a Grange 
entertainment. Very simple, very clean and wholly lacking in horse-play 
and acrobatics. Well suited for its purpose. 
Pricey i^ cents 






THE MAGISTRATE ^^'^^^ ^ ^'^^^ ^*^*«- ^«i^« ^^les, four 

females. Costumes, modern; scenery, all 
interior. Plays two hours and a lialf. 

THE NOTORIODS MRS. EBBSMITF ^^^°^^ ^^ ^^^- ^cts 

Eiy males, five females. 
Costumes, modern ; scenery, all interiors PI- ys a, full evening. 

THE PROFUfiATE ^^^ ^ Four Acts ^even males, five females. 
Scenery, three interiors, rather elaborate ; 
costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. 

THE SCHOOLMISTRESS ^a^«einThreeActs.Ninemales,8even 
females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, 
three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

THE SECOND MRS. TANOCERAY ^^^ '^ ^^^' ^«*« ^'^^^ 

^ males, five females. Cos- 

tumes, modern ; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

SWEET LAVENDER ^"""^^^^ ^ ^'^^^ ^«*«- seven males, four 
females. Scene, a single interior ; costumes , 
modern. Plays a full evening. 

THE TIMES ^°^®^y ^^ ^^^^^^ ^cts. six males, seven females. 
Scene, a single interior ; costumes, modern. Plays a 
full evening. 

THE WEAKER SEX comedy m Three Acts. Eight males, eight 
females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, two 
interiors. Plays a full evening. 

A WIFE WITHOUT A SMILE ^^^^^^ ^ ^^«« ^«*« ^'^^ 

males, four females. Costumes, 
modem ; scene, a single interior. Plays a full evening. 



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AS YOII I I¥F IT Comedy in Five Acts. Thirteen males, four 
A J IVU L(11\L< 11 females. Costumes, picturesque ; scenery, va- 
ried. Plays a full evening. 

r AMU IF I^rama in Five Acts. Nine males, five females. Cos- 
y^AallhLtLt tumes, modern ; scenery, varied. Plays a full evening. 

INnOMAR I^l^y ^^ Five Acts. Thirteen males, three females. 
'lilUUlTlAlV Scenery varied ; costumes, Greek. Plays a full evening. 

IWAPY STTIAftT Tragedy in Five Acts. Thirteen males, four fe- 
iTiiiI\l iJiUimi males, and supernumeraries. Costumes, of the 
period ; scenery, varied and elaborate. Plays a full evening. 

THE MERCHANT OF VENICE ^Z^:Xreff:n^l^: fJ^lT^. 

[picturesque ; scenery varied. Plays a full evening. 

ff tCHFT IFF -^^^y ^^ Five Acts. Fifteen males, two females. Scen- 



evening. 



ery elaborate ; costumes of the period. Plays a full 



THF RIVAT S comedy in Five Acts. Nine males, five females. 
1 IIL m T AhD Scenery varied ; costumes of the period. Plays a 



full evening. 



SHE STOOPS TO CONQUER ^Ze%% ^" ^''' ^''" ^'''''" 



ried 



four females. Scenery va- 
costumes of the period. Plays a full evening. 



TWELFTH NIGHT; OR, WHAT ¥01) WILL ?"""' '" """' 



three females, 
full evening. 



Acts. Ten males. 
Costumes, picturesque ; scenery, varied. Plays a 



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